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A Waste of Time and Talent!

Ali (Christina Aguilera) is a small-town girl with a big dream of becoming a singer/dancer in Hollywood. Tess(Cher)is a big-town girl with the small problem; her trendy burlesque club is being sold out from underneath her. By a stroke of luck Tess hires Ali to work at Burlesque not realizing that Ali’s fancy dance moves and huge voice could very well be the answer to Tess’s “small” problem. But it’s a deal that is risky at best for Ali and she’ll soon be faced with the choice of staying at the club where she fell in love with the dance stage, or leaving it all to pursue her dreams elsewhere.

I love Moulin Rouge with all of my heart, so when I heard that Burlesque was in the same trendy, artsy format as Moulin Rouge I was stoked and had to go see it in the theatre. But after Ali actually starts working at Burlesque, I felt the urge to get up and walk out of the theatre for the remainder of the movie. Literally the wardrobe manager went to Victoria’s Secret and bought out the store and that’s what you will see for the full 90+ minutes of the movie. But me being one to give second chances decided to give Burlesque a whirl once Clearplay released a filter for it. I was just curious to see if this sort of movie could pull off a filter, of any sort. Well it can’t. So seriously do NOT waste your time on this one. I suppose if the Burlesque club were to be filtered out of the movie entirely, it could be the PG-13 movie that it’s suppose to be, but then it would be a 20 minute film, and would need a new title. As usual though, I will end on a positive note, Christina Aguilera really does have one heck of a voice! The only, and I mean only, highlight of the entire film! And that folks, is sugarcoating things!

Motherly Advice: I had my filters set on most and I still couldn’t believe my eyes! The fact that the name of the film is Burlesque does suggest that it’s going to have some pretty provocative dancing but the rating PG-13 is the understatement of the century! It isn’t so much the swearing that Clearplay had to work hard at but rather the 50+ sexually related jokes, phrases, innuendoes etc. The women who dance in nothing more than lingerie during the entire film, the suggestive dancing, the sex off screen that Clearplay cuts out most of but you still know exactly what goes on, are all part of the Burlesque experience. Not to mention the almost constant drinking that appears throughout the film.
Bottom line, Burlesque has nothing original to offer. I wouldn’t let my kids watch it. I wouldn’t want my husband watching it. And I definitely wouldn’t want anyone renting this movie thinking that it’s “artful” and “musical” because the art is not tasteful and the music is hard to hear due to the distraction of trying to cover your eyes from seeing way more than what you’d ever bargain to see. This film is appropriate for ages 18 and up, although I’m 32 and I don’t think I’m even old enough to see some of the things in this movie.

Trisha~ I’ll stick with Moulin Rouge!

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