I have been living secretly among the ClearPlayers for several weeks. Now that I’ve finished studying their eating and laundry habits, I turn my attention to one of their more intriguing rituals: Movie Battles. While normally peaceful unless provoked by inappropriate film content, the native ClearPlayers sometimes force two movies into an enclosed arena ( clearplay.com/MovieBattle/ ) and make them fight over and over for their amusement.
I was shocked to learn from one of my native confidants that over a half million of these battles have been fought! Oh the barbarity! After the battles, the winners and losers are ranked and categorized so the ClearPlayers can see who are the strongest and weakest movies. Why they simply do not trust the wise and benevolent and good looking ClearPlay Movie Reviewers, I cannot say. But they post these rankings for all to see:
>clearplay.com/MovieBattle/Stats.aspx
>clearplay.com/MovieBattle/BattleList.aspx
>clearplay.com/MovieBattle/Stats.aspx
>clearplay.com/MovieBattle/BattleList.aspx
While I feel badly for the poor movies forced to fight each other without any hope of release, these gladiatorial contests have provided me with a wealth of information about the ClearPlayers. They seem to have a strong penchant for fantasy, adventure, thrillers, and super heroes. Intriguing. And what’s this? The Twilight movies aren’t on the 100 Worst Losers list? The ClearPlayers clearly need more guidance from their honored and brilliant reviewers.
While perhaps against my conscience, I feel that to truly blend in with the ClearPlayers I must engage in a few Movie Battles myself. After all, when in ClearPlay, do as the ClearPlayers do.
Journal Entry Date: 9/21/2012
Frian Buller— ClearPlay Ethnographic Researcher
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